Category: Let's talk
I was wanting to know if I am just to nice of a person and let this happen or if it happens to all other blind people.
You know how they are always trying to make you wait to be the last person on the plane to get off...
Well i live next door to a gas station and I go in there sometimes to get a drink. When they get a lot of people coming in, i wait until everyone is finished so they can get my drink for me. I could figure out where they place my choice of drink but sometimes I wish for something different so I have just told them what I wanted and they would get it. Because they have to leave the counter to help me, i let the other people go first so they don't have to wait on me. Well it's become an issue every other place it seems. I go in to my apartment office and I go to ask them something, and i find that everyone goes ahead of me, They always help everyone else a lot of the time before me. I even had aguy today who justcame up and got in frunt of me while I was waiting for the office lady to get off of the phone, and ask her something first. I had been standing there for a minute before him. Then a few minutes later I had one more question to ask, nothing that took more than a minute... and either this same guy I believe, but could have been a second, did the same thing again. I was speaking with her and he walked in and she asked him what he needed then they started talking for 5 minutes while I had to stand there and wait.
I was there asking her if she could help me by writing a website address down for me in print for another person real quick and she seemed a bit busy so I asked the guy if he could help me then he turned around and asked the office lady if it was ok for him to write something on the paper I had. I let him know it wasn't anything he had to ask permition to do, it wasn't his name or anything to do with the apartment and then I was so frustrated by then and he seemed as if he didn't want to help either so I said it was ok and I would have my roommate help me. and I started to leave. As I walked away, they guy turned to her and said something then started to laugh. What kind of a rude guy this was.
Sorry for my rant.
but anyways, do you guys ever have to wait to be helped like I seem to do?
I experience this too. One thing that I found really helps in certain situations is that if you know there's a line, like at a store for example, ask around to make sure you're in it. Ask the person ahead or behind you to let you know when the line moves so you know you'll stay in it. I suppose you could just feel with your cane if that person is in front of you, but then you'd just end up poking the same person's feet or legs over and over again and that's just awkward. The times I've done this, the person usually gets the message anyway and just starts telling me when to move. So why not just skip the awkwardness and repeated apologies and ask for that help right from the beginning.
In these situations, there are no lines, you just kind of gather or sit and wait. In my apartment anyways. The gas station you just kind of stand there. I am ok with the lines there so that is not really an issue to much. Its more of the people know me, and they think it is ok to put everyone else in frunt of me.
Luckily i am moving and buying my own home in a couple of weeks so I won't have to deal with apartment offices anymore but, This happens while I am shopping too. I will be with an employee, and they will make me wait while they are pointing many other custermers to things they can't find. I think this is happening to me a lot more this last week or something. LOL
If I require help to get a drink or something, I feell it is polite to wait until the clerk has time to help.
Now in the business or apartment, no.
Let them know you think it's rude. You pay your money, so if you walk in that office first, they will help you first period.
Write them a letter. Do not allow that treatment.
The reason this is so, is you are conducting place business.
Now, buy the same token, if you are asking them to fill out papers, or do something not related to the apartment, then you are in the place to wait.
I personally don't think it a good idea to rely on the office staff for non related things. Get it done another way.
On a plane, I suggest I should wait. I've got the staff helping me to my next flight, or whatever, so I let the people get going.
I've been offered getting of first all the time, but graciously say I'll wait.
About getting off a plane: I usually have to wait to be de-planed. This seems to be standard procedure
Yes, I notice I am the last person to order in places where there's no line because I simply can't see people pushing past me; it's extremely rude and it makes me so angry.
Regarding being the last person to get off the plane, i understand it's easier for them to do that so don't mind even though it sucks especially when flying to the opposite end of the world so have been sitting for 12+ hours.
This is a real problem, when to yield and when not to.
All really good points here. You do need to learn how to be assertive when it's necessary to do so. Pick your battles, in other words.
lines are particularly challenging. I have been cut in front of, and the other day I accidentally cut in front of someone myself. Once I realized it, I let him know and even though he would have yielded, I had him cut in front of me to his rightful place.
I often see this on sidewalks, where people just run to try and pass the blind guy, so they can slow down to a crawl. Especially when you have to get somewhere. I don't roll over and play dead anymore. Instead, I take 'em for a good run. I don't care if she's 60 years old, if she wants to play at army, I can play sergeant and go as fast as I can, uphill, hearing her panting and out of breath just desperate to pass me.
On the flip side, the other day, I moved aside so someone could pass because it sounded like he was rolling those airport luggage bags. In that situation, he thanked me, but said he was in no kind of a hurry. I just drew my own assumptions because I heard what sounded like two luggage bags being pulled, and my mind filled in the rest.
Knowing when to yield and when not to is touch and go.
I've just had a flight attendant help me off the plane as soon as possible.
Yes, you can asked them to take you off first, but I actually prefer waiting.
People are always in a rush, so I let them rush. My bags will still be there when I get off just the same, and the flight staff are usually more relaxed, so I get better service, and I can take my time to make sure everything I need is in order.
If I'm first in a line, and there is know one in the place, I expect to be helped .
If someone comes up after me and the clerk starts helping them, I speak up?
Rude is rude, and helpful patients is different.
As regards the plane, I just sort of ... get off when everyone else does, actually. There are really, as I understand it, only two ways you can go on a jetway—towards or away from the plane.
As for the other, I have to say that this has ... actually never happened. to me at all. Perhaps a precedent was set in these places that know you, and now they figure that you just prefer to wait? I have no idea.
I gave the plane thing as an example. I really wasn't looking for advice on that. but that is fine if you guys want to say something about it.
My main focus was asking if you all have issues with having to wait to get service because of your blindness.
I don't mind waiting at the gas station because of the situation. I have gone in the apartment to pay my rent and had to wait for people to talk with the office staff even though I had been there for a while first waiting. Its almost as if they think everyone else will be in and out in a few seconds when that is hardly the case.
As far as the airplane goes, I just get up, get my overhead luggage and compete with the horde.
When I get near the exit some steward may go into spasms 'cause this blind guy is acting normal, then I may, or may not let them help me, depending on the situation.
As far as the gas station and apartment goes, I'll usually wait if I need special attention. If not, I find that humor works pretty well, like "oh, I'm sorry, were you here first?"
If that doesn't work, then bbrazenness works wonders.
Be assertive without being too rude, that's my advice.
Bob
Bob is right.
also, instead of trying to put the way you're treated on others, maybe take a look at yourself, and see if the way you come across has anything to do with it.
do you have a frustrated look on your face? do you look pissed off? do you act impatient? then, ask yourself if you're assuming that the reason you have to wait is truly cause of your blindness, or if that's just what you perceive.
chances are, you'll find that's just your perception, rather than actuality.
Like Tallin, I've never had this happen, either. But then again, I'm usually pretty assertive, sometimes to the point of aggressive, though I try not to be that.
And like several others, I don't wait to get off the plane. There really is only one way you can navigate a jet bridge. So I just go with the crowd, and get assistance when I reach the gate at the top.
I think Bob said it best about being assertive, using humor when you can, or just all-out candor if need be. I agree with Chelsea in the sense of, if this happens often, look at yourself. While it may be because of your blindness, being blind is no reason to allow yourself to be walked all over, or receive lousy customer service.
I'll add that I've never had this sort of thing happen, which is why I said what I did.
Never happens to me either unless I choose it.
I hate pushing on a plane to get off, so I wait even if I don't require any help, and mostly I don't. I mean, unless the emergency doors are open? Only one way out.
Now if the emergency doors are open? *help lord!
I rarely travel alone, and when I do, it's usually at a friend's house or somewhere else where I can immediately get to my destination and do what I came there to do. An example is when I was learning chair caning. I went in, found my way to the workshop, and that was it. Having said that, I do not tolerate rudeness. I am generally polite and easy-going, and sometimes even start general conversations with those around me. But if someone deliberately cut in front of me, I would purposefully trip him with my cane for his efforts. If I needed help, I would not hesitate to ask politely, nor would I refuse if someone offered to take me first. That simply makes no sense to me, unless there is a very good reason for it. If I knew, for example, that someone in a walker or wheelchair was in front of me, that she only had one or two items, or that the place was truly short on staff, I would refuse and let the other person go first. Of course, the same holds true if accidentally cut in front of someone. But to be honest, I thought part of the ADA gives preferential treatment to the disabled. If so, then by law, I should be first in line, and most likely, those who have more disabilities than I should go before me.
<lol> Wayne. Emergency doors open, and some poor sighted person is going to get latched on like a clam closing his shell.
I agree with Chelsea and others, take a look at yourself; your appearance, approach, could be part of your problem.
I've noticed in myself a tendency to have a pity party for myself, while the world goes on as usual.
I'm not saying that very well, I think sometimes that the sighted community is conspiring against me, when all they are doing is treating me like any other person.
Maybe someone else can understand what I'm saying and splain it more better.
Bob
Depends on situations and on how much i need assistant with certain things and situations. If i'm going to a new cafe or at somewhere new that i've never been, i might need someone to help me to read out things or give me directions, i'll generally volunteer to wait until the staff have more than a few seconds to assist me. Last thing i need, and that staff need is some frustration situation that can be avoided. What is the point if i going out for dinner, all cheerful and happy, end up got frustrated over someone because they are frustrated with me?
If i'm in a store, shopping, and waiting to pay, i'll wait in the line, following the cue. in that case, i'm rarely asking for any assistant beyond "where's the cash register" kind of thing.
As far as plane is concern. It also depends on where i'm going, and how familiar i am with the particular airport and either i'm having any check in bags or not. If i'm flying domestic (withint Australia) and with carry on bags only, i'll often not to ask for any assistant as i'm fairly confident and familiar with almost all of the major airport within Australia. In those case, i'll usually request to be the first off the plane. In this situation, i found that the airline staff are just too happy to let me go, with some assurance that i'm all okay and i'm all right and well orientated with where i need to go etc.
However, if i'm flying international, i'll definitely get help. It is often faster and quicker to go through custom checkpoints, and ofthen the staff will know the quicker ways, even if it means to go through staff only area at the airport. After all, i do need helpp identifying my soothcases, going through customs, and things like that.
I'm not pointing finger here, ut i think how we react and our attitude play a part on all these. Sometime, i allow my "just because i'm blind i do no need help" attitude to get hold of me, and minutes later realize that i do need help after all.
If some minutes of waiting can resolve some hours of frustration, i'll wait for the few minutes rather than pushing my way through.
Joanne has a great point about choosing your battles.
also, first impressions are everything.
so, if you're friendly to people, if you're patient with them, and most importantly, if you understand and accept that the world does not revolve around you, you might find that the problem you're currently having will disappear.
I say these things as someone who, like Bob, used to think the world was against me. I've since examined how I came across, and come to find that the way I get along in life is truly much better than it used to be, because of the changes I've made within myself.
Wow chelslicious
I am so not acting like that.
I am if anything being very patient and kind and putting everyone before. I don't go in all huffy puffy and having steam pooring out my ears in anger that I was not first in line.
Ok so all of you guys are completely miss understanding the whole situation.
I had a post in response but had some things come up and it wouldn't let me submit it later on...
So here goes to re writing.
Verry little of it has to do with me being blind and needing extra help. I don't always go in there to get help in the apartment complex.
I sometimes do for getting letters addressed before shipping them out for birthdays so on but not often. What i was asking for help at the time was a simple website to be written down for a scentsy party I was about to have in there. I needed it for advertizing the party in the office anyways.
Ok the gas station I am fine with waiting. I m actually the one who usually tells every one else to go ahead of me. I get that.
While I am shopping at the store, I expect the employee to help me and not leave me while they go help five other people. This doesn't usually happen but has and does sometimes.
That was just that.
The plane thing again. i don't have issues at all witht the plane thing. I get off on my own and will ask which way to go at the desk and if I am needing extra help, I wait for it. No big deal.
End of the plane talk for me. I really dont care about it.
I don't act upset, groutchy or angry in the least, so that is not the answer at all.
Some of the points I was going to make in my post that didn't go threw were these...
The office loves my dog so a lot of time they might put me last to pet her. i didn't think of this at the time.
Secondly, Oh how to explain this. I tend to get stuck in the mind set of being at work. I did this when I was a teenager to. I would be in a place and someone would need help and i jumped in and helped out as if I worked there and got them situated. Not anything out of my line, just being helpful. I was having a Scentsy party this weekend and actually had people ask me for pricing on apartmetns because I greeted them when they walked in the door. LOL! But with that said, the office lady did ask me to keep an eye on the office a bit while she showed apartments, nothing to big, just to let people know she would be back kind of miner thing.
I tend to have a take charge attitude and have always been a leader so i think i kind of step back and try to get help for those seaking it wich sometimes tendsto put me after everyone else. But I don't always do this either. IDK. but it deffently isn't that they don't want to help me because of a bad attitude. i kept reading that idea in a lot of your thoughts, and its not it at all.
So anyways, with that said.
But in this situation that I first was writing about, the guy was pushy and pushed his way first as if no one else mattered but him. So I guess what I was trying to say was that the workers don't always put their foot down when someone forces their way in and interups. I have always been told that interupting was rude.
thanks for your thoughts...
blbobby
I kind of feel like you at the moment, like I am not getting it out right. UGH. lol. but siriously, thanks you guys...
Well No. It doesn't happen to us unless we allow it or wish it. Maybe that was the answer you wanted, not our thoughts? Smile.
Hmm, to the original poster, im not sure why you are cross with some of the responds here. You started a discussion, and people contribute to your discussion by simply voicing our thoughts and views and opinion on the matter. No one judging you or no one atacting you either. I thought, most of us here simply voicing our experience, and what we are comfortable and not comfortable to do.
After all, no one can live a life that other person live, no one in the same situation that have the same life experience and expectation with each other.
If people petting your dog resulting you needing to wait longer, perhaps, don't bring your dog next, or, simply reject the attention that your dog might get, or the person might want to give to your dog.
Be firmly assertive with the dog situation. You are there to get serve, not be there to have your dog to get pet.
And to Bob, yes i get you completely. It is also how we see ourselve in the sighted world more so than how the sighted people see us. For most sighted people, they can't give a damn on other either we are blind, deaf, dead or anything. Then, you got the two extreme, one that is extremely helpful till the point that is always in your personal space, and to another group that is fear for the blind because of ignorance or some bad experience or whatever. If anything at all, living in the sighted society let me realize that, at times, we, as the blind collective labeling ourselves within the sighted world more so than what the sighted lable us as blind individuals. Of course, how blind organization may lable us with their charity mind set also contribute to how some people from the society sees us as a blind person.
Nicki, for someone who doesn't act like that, you're awfully defensive, I must say.
as has been said, you posted asking for people's thoughts, and that's exactly what you're getting.
perhaps, if you were looking for an echo chamber about it solely being the fault of others, you should've stated that you were looking for people to agree with you, rather than actually present differing perspectives.
Nikki,
I apologize to you on behalf of rationalist skeptics everywhere for Chelsea's very deist, very apologetics-driven, extremely victim-apologist behavior.
If we believed Chelslicious, women aren't getting raped, it's all in their attitude. Blacks aren't getting lynched, it's all in their attitude. Only, she would deny this, because the apologetics form the sunday school lessons at the Church of the NFB Training Centers make foolish and irrelevant separation, saying we the blind are somehow never at all the victim.
She's kidding herself, downloading apologetic cue cards from the Internet, and debating like the hangers-on at Answers in Genesis or something.
She is, of course, rationally wrong. No evidence whatsoever to support her claim.
I ran stores for a few years, and people came in with a bad attitude. Their so-called perception did not make my reality, or the reality of my employees. They were treated well just like anybody else.
Chelsea has been mistreated in life, and you know what? There is nothing she did to deserve said mistreatment, no matter what any rape apologist says.
You are getting mistreated, and you also are not at fault, no matter what any apologist says.
I've even heard this disgusting apologetic leveled at elderly people living in my neighborhood, struggling with things, doing the best they can, then being snubbed and mistreated by some hipster that can hash-tag. People my mother's age, or the age of some people on here. And they are, like you, just working, trying to make the best of things. Ironically, just like Chelsea does also, when she's not reading from the Sunday School apologetics script from a faith-based training center.
The older lady I saw was getting pushed, so, excuse me for being human, I just asked her if I could pick up her bag and help her get through. Perception is certainly not reality. That sentence is a faith-based, not a skeptical or rationalist, statement. Attitude means nothing. The only reason the hipsters thought they could push and shove, and ignore her needs was she is quite old, seemed frailt at least to me who can't see, and a woman.
If I hadn't picked up her bags, I have a feeling one of the other older people would have, though. Most of them are too smart for the ridiculous woo statements.
It did piss me off to see this written at you, I'll be honest. I've tried to remember Chelsea was dealt this very hand in another context. Tried is the operative word- quite obviously not very well on my account.
But I see no reason to victim blame, and just as I would stand up for Chelsea against someone making victim apologetics against her and her situations? I do to you now. And hell ya, I most definitely have probably handled it wrong.
Clearly, you should listen to Wayne and others who have given you some good advice. Saying that the blind are never discriminated against is stupid. Saying women are never discriminated against is stupid. Saying the elderly are never discriminated against, never pushed, never ignored, never had their benefits taken away and other things, is stupid.
It is ALL very very stupid and sounds pretty witch-doctor to me.
Because in principle, rape apologetic, victim apologetic, and so on, is wrong. No matter what mutli-billion-dollar industry or faith complex says otherwise. We're all humans, we know it.
I'm sure it happens, I don't mean it doesn't, but not to me, unless I desire to be last.
Why, I can't say, because I've really not thought about it until now.
Maybe teac your dog to bark when you say bark? Smile.
That is a tease, hope it made you smile.
You'll get help quickly.
thank you, Wayne. your last post is right on.
I know its not my attitude because I am not doing anything to make them not want to help me. I I don't go in upset or angry and i don't get upset and angry when I have to wait.
I also run a shop and get people coming in all the time wanting to lash out at someone and choose me to do it to. and most of it is silly things and you know they are in there to fight, no matter how nice you are to them.
I had a lady today come in and hold her money out to me while I too had my hand out, after a second she huffed then slammed the money in my hand and said
"I was holding it out for you"
as if I was suppose to take it from her.
I very kindly with a smile on my face said
, "Oh. I didn't know you had your hand out. I can't see you holding it out so its easier if you could put the money in my hand."
i even said it with an appologetic tone. I am not an ass kisser either so this was hard. The lady just tried to continue insulting me for not taking the money. Siriously lady? We are going to pitch a fit over something so dumb as this?
I don't think that there was anything different I could have done in this manner to have made it work better other than had eye site to take the money from the lady.
It isn't always about you and how you hold yourself in life. Sometimes, people are going to find a reason, and make one up to if they have to, and just because they are not happy.
I don't need to always look in to myself to find how to make others better people.
Sometimes, there is nothing you can do.
A lot of you have given great thoughts.
I wasn't getting defincive, just was struggling with how to explain things. Unfourchantly you miss took that and I problibly could have reworded things.
Ah, Chelsea, but by that logic, since Oregon doesn't have a Rick Perry or some other judge making foolish rape apologetic everywhere, then you would say that women everywhere who are raped must have had something to do with it?
But, fortunately, you do not say this.
So I being in Oregon and in a large metropolitan area have it fairly easy as a blind man, as an athist, and so on. But how would that possibly give me the right to claim that some other blind person in a bad spot put herself there? How would that give me the right to claim it was her attitude? How would that give me the right to say if atheists like you in the South would only have a better attitude, you'd have it easier? It simply does not compute. It's illogical, it is nothing but apologetics. Can't you at least TRY to see? This is beyond nuts. You of all people should know better. Many of us have stood your cause and with no shame, and, speaking for myself, will do so again should the problem arise. It does not follow that when someone is victimized, it was their fault.
Otherwise, dead women wouldn't get raped, and smiling happy people would not be ignored. But we know both those things indeed do happen. Do yourself a favor, and ... THINK! THINK! beyond the apologetic cue cards from the training centers or the churches, or any other faith-based location.
I only say this, because you can. You already have in many other areas, for other groups of people. Don't be putting back on the god glasses when it comes to the blind. It's the glasses that are the most dangerous. It's those glasses that would allow Rick Perry (known up here by some of us as Prick Perry) leave women to die rather than get the medical attention they need.
It's those glasses that enable someone to imagine a woman caused herself to get raped, even though we all know even corpses are raped. And it's the same glasses that make you imagine it's all Nicky's attitude. When, if you ever worked a day in customer service, you'd know most places are full of attitude. And most people most of the time get helped.
Coming from you, armed with the knowledge that you personally have, I'm surprised. You figured a lot of this out for yourself very young, and don't accept others blaming you for circumstances that were out of your control. I applaud this, and stand back bemused at how many years longer it has taken me to figure that out in my own circumstances.
All I'm saying is, give Nicky the same bbenefit of the doubt you give yourself when it comes to the issues that have affected you. So the issue is different: people overlooking her because of her disability. It doesn't matter whose kool-aid people are drinking, making it out to be the victim's fault is the province of theists, not rationalists like you or me.
I can say that I don't get overlooked in Oregon. It's true. Is it even Oregon? Is it my city? I have no rational evience to give anybody as to why. I'm sometimes really upset after dealing with some kind of family situation, and I am still not overlooked in a store. I can be lost in my own thoughts, troubled about the prospect of family being re-deployed to Iraq, and enter a store, get in line, and till be treated equally. Note, I did absolutely nothing spectacular. So I have no rational claim against Nicky.
I am no stunner to look upon, just a average middle-aged white guy - pretty unrecognizable among the masses. I can give neither you nor Nicky a rational reason for why I am not overlooked and she is. So, because I cannot do that, I cannot blame nicky.
I'll guess Wayne is probably more magnetic. than many of us, the kind of guy who's popular at clubs, and frankly the kind many of us enjoy being around. That is, of course, a guess, based on what I see online. Not all of us are like that, and not all of us get ignored either.
Again, Nicky, I'm with you, as a rational thinker, as a humanist. I cannot do any other thing with a clean conscience. Just bear in mind, if you can, where this is coming from. Chelsea on the boards has said she has had some very difficult times. Like many people in difficult situations, she went to some group, not a church but a training center in her case. And like many who are in these really hard situation, she took their apologetic, which they knew she would, and is only reacting out of that vulnerable situation. It was before the Internet, but I also was in a bad place, and ended up using similar theistic situations as a very young man. And, hurting people in the process.
I've also done my share of recreational drugs. I can tell you, peple in the state she's in now are as oblivious to its affects on others as I was when doing uppers in college.
Waking up and coming to one's senses is a long, and often painful, process.
Hopefully that gives you a bit of perspective. And know that there's a lot of us that get it, insofar as we can get it, without any victim blaming towards you. Or even towards those who victim blame.
leo, I've stated how I feel, not cause of what people have told me to believe, but cause, as I've said in previous posts, I know from personal experience that how one is treated, is often due to the person's attitude/the way they come across to others.
nowhere did I say that this is absolutely the case with Nicky, though. I simply stated that she ought to take a look at herself, which wouldn't harm her in the least.
and, for the record, I'm not a member of any blindness organization, even though I went to an NFB-based training center.
Except there is no rational basis for what you're saying. Customer service people are treated badly all the time by countless people in various ways, ways Nicky has not dreamed of, let alone done yet. And still, they are trained to behave.
The problem with your statement is it's based on nonfalsifiable anecdotal evidence, something that is dangerous for making life decisions or judgments about other people, upon.
Well, there are some people that let their attitude gets hold of them at times, but i don't believe attitude is the only thing to be acounted for. Of course, you have some people out there that choose to be arigon, to a point that they don't think or rather, refuse any support or help, but more than likely there are on the very minority of the blind group. Of course, then you have another group of people on the other side of the fance that think blind people are all charity cases, with the influence of some blind organization or even, some religion or shall we just say, interest group that try their hardest to brain wash others., through their believe or value system.
Having a positive attitude towards the world definitely help, but again, is how you present yourself through experience, how you deal with hard dificult demanding situation, and at the end dof the day, what sort of outcome you want to achieve that hold you, as a person together.
In Nicky's case, i think is a bit of everything, but i don't think is driven by the attitude. In fact, i come across countless time situation similar to her, just because the fact that i have a dog. Usually it goes either i get serve right away because the attention my dog get, and making us look like fools, or we got serve last because they simply want to pet the dog and spend time with the dog for a moment or two which, frustrates me unend.
In such incident, it is up to me, as a person, as an individual to deal with it. I could go all yucky, angry and frustrated, or i could give it a missed, and chuckle at one's needs of animal company till the point when they need to deal with the dog's business. After all, what goes in, what got to come out right? And, the coming out bit is not always pleasant either.
Our reaction as to how we've been treated in general influence by our internal believes, life experiences etc for sure, but it also influence by the environmental factors, or external factors that you can't control as well.
So no, unless One consider as one bastard arigon person, or very negative towards the world, if not, i believe, attitude have quite little to do with it in most cases.
Nicky. Your last post has caused me to think of something.
You said the lady was holding money out to you, and after she put it in your hand, she still wanted to go on about why you didn't reach out and take it.
Are you awear, or do you know if your physical appearance is enough for people to know if you are blind or not?
Here's the situation. If a person walks in to an office and sees a woman sitting down, they don't notice her eyes in detail, but only in color.
Okay, so if you have a smile on your face generally, or you are just what I called plain faced, no smile, or frown, you aren't giving any facial feedback.
Now, when the door opens and you hear it, you must point your face that direction.
That would cause the lady to come over and reach out the money. She'd not know you couldn't see.
Your dog means nothing, because people have dogs laying next to them all the time that are well mannered, if she even saw it.
If she didn't relize you couldn't see, you saying you wanted the money in your hand was smart assed. Smile.
This also could be some of the reason people wait on you last. Maybe they wave at you, and of course you don't see them waving, so they take the next person, and just think you're not ready of something.
Ask someone about that. How do you appear.
I do look sighted and not blind at all. but when standing and waiting I have a dog by my side. I usually look at my custermers when I speak with them unless I am counting money or punching buttons, then i look down at what I was doing. A lot of people don't know I am blind. they forget. I use to have eye site. So this could be a reason, but not for the apartment, they know i can't see, and the same for the gastation, but maybe they forget, i dout it though. because I have spent enough time with them that they aren't complete strangers. They are really friendly staff to everyone. The apartment people are.
so some forgotten things.
the lady holding out the money was a custermer at work while I was standing behind a counter are a register.
I do look at people when they walk in or up to me.
I also turn my body not just my face. you have to point your body too.
Okay honey. You'll have to forgive fher that one. Smile.
I know you didn't ask me, but here goes my opinion, not advice.
I was also sighted once, and we understand how we should stand due to seeing it.
When we are blind, the habits don't change honey.
I'll bet you're a lovely lady, you dress well, and so if you stand behind a counter, that lady won't know.
You'll have to spend some time saying to people you can't see.
Make her day. Say, oh, I'm not slighting you, I'm blind. She'll get all flustered and all, but she'll not bitch.
Now, on the apartment folks. No matter what we think people simply forget. We're not the thing they think about.
This is even more true if you are well put together.
You are first a woman? Smile. The first thing that other woman sees when you stroll in the door is your Victoria Secrets clotheing, hair, nails, shoes, face. Maybe you carry a sweet Lui Vatan bag, and well.
What dog? Blind? Smile.
Be at peace Nickky and let the people know, you are blind when you need them to help you now. Otherwise, you'll wait, and they'll knot know why.
Now after you leave, they'll have one of these "oh, damn! I forgot!" minutes, but...
Smile.